Writing memoir can be easy, can be fun, can be difficult, can be challenging and can take you to places you never thought you’d visit again, good and bad. Last week I wrote about some of my reasons for writing memoir, I am not going to go over those again and looking at my list above, I wonder why I even started. The main reason I embarked on this journey is that I love writing. Below are some thoughts according to the world of Linney. My only claim is to have completed 88k words of a memoir; that's all. I am no expert.
Writing memoir can be easy, if initially let yourself dump words on a page without a much of thought about you and the memories that matter to you. One dump, excuse the phrase but it seems apt, can lead to another. Thinking about school days can send you chasing down family holidays from childhood to holidays with your children. It took me a while to throw off the shackles of being the next Spike Milligan, Clover Stroud or Hilary Mantel. There was no point in fixating on producing a masterpiece in record time. Once I realised that would never happen, it helped me dump my past on the page. Before you think she’s a bit full of herself, that's not the end of the story. However, a small piece of advice: If you are thinking of writing your memoir, just start writing; great oak trees grow from little acorns.
Writing memoir can be difficult. It made me think I would never be a writer. It was far too difficult, and I'm not up to it. How could I ever imagine being a writer? All those negative thoughts rushed around my head, crowding out thoughts of sitting down and doing it. Hands up, it is difficult. Once, I dumped my first 10,000 words. I looked back and thought what a load of rubbish, and still believe that most of the time when I reread my writing. However, I need to remember my own piece of advice. It is not rubbish; you have written it and created those words on the page from inside your mind. When I reread a piece after a break, I often think - ‘did I really write that?’ It's not bad at all. Always remember your inner critic is there on your shoulder, knock your Algernon, even if occasionally he is quite useful and worth listening to. One piece of non expert advice: don't reread what just wrote immediately, move on to the next bit and return in a week or as long as you feel comfortable.
Writing can be difficult, particularly if creative writing is alien to you, you have started but are about to give up, or you are unsure what to do next. You need to think about a plan and a theme at some stage. A few tips:
Search Substack; there are so many great real memoirists on here.
Read memoirs, especially those that cover similar topics you are interested in. Just because someone has written on a similar topic doesn't mean you can’t learn from them and a few radically different ones. I found fiction helpful for my writing.
Consider signing up for a course, but research to find one that suits you. Through memoir courses, I have found incredibly supportive friends.
Read memoir ‘how to books’ - Cathy Rentzenbrink‘s Write It All Down: How to Put Your Life on the Pageand Stephen King’s On Writing are good places to start. I will post other books over the coming weeks. Please recommend ones you have found helpful. Never give up at the first hurdle.
Writing memoir can be fun. It challenges you to remember the good, the bad and the ugly bits that make up the humorous side of your past. I am leaving aside the traumatic and genuinely troubling events. The supposed ‘bad’ bits of life can be viewed with fresh eyes, and you realise they weren't that bad after all. You can add another element to your book, if you choose to include them, such as my husband leaving me on the downstairs toilet floor all night due to an overindulgence of Retsina. We all have a bit of humour in our pasts, often events that were mortifying at the time, teenage years are a particularly good area to mine for toe curling memories. Try to have fun and enjoy your writing.
Writing can be challenging. Writing about traumatic events takes you back to very dark places, take it from me. Although cathartic, the process can often only occur by visiting the darkness. Yes, it was cathartic for me. However, it was also very raw and stirred up many harrowing emotions and memories, both recent and ancient. If the subject you are writing about is traumatic, always make sure you have some support to deal with those emotions. I am not going to give advice on what form that support should be; we each develop our own mechanisms. If you are struggling there is no harm taking a break, it is your story. When the going gets tough, get help to deal with difficult emotions, even if it's taking a walk, going for a good night with friends, or telling someone why you are finding this part difficult.
Many challenges facing memoirists are the same for every genre, even writing handbooks on The Funding of Residential Care. You read back and realise the vast task of editing, the next draft, and potentially, the next. The Scream by Edvard Munch springs to mind. I have always had a ‘forget about it’ attitude when the going gets tough (not entirely), but I have thought at each edit ‘forget about it’. It started when my three-year-old self got caught with an illegal chocolate bar. I have learned to take a break when Algernon and my ‘forget about’ self are shouting too loud. I realised that unless you are successful and have deadlines, taking a break is like a holiday; you return fresh with new eyes. It is the best thing about not having any delusions of being published; I am my own boss. Take a break when you need to; it’ll still be there when you get back with fresh eyes, and make sure to back up your work.
Another tip I will give you is to start journaling, as
at With Ease recommends on Substack. Not only does it get the writing juices started, but you can also dump everything you feel. Nobody will see it unless you want them to.Next week, I will start providing a list of resources and books.
Thank you for reading my post. Free subscribers will receive free posts to promote discussion on memoir. Behind the paywall, I will publish chapters and sections from my memoir and provide access to chat. I am not proclaiming to be an expert, but I hope we can learn together. Please subscribe to my free posts or upgrade to paid for a developing supportive community and chapters from an old curmudgeon’s memoir.
I look forward to reading more Jo. Thanks for sharing the love about the creative benefits of having a journalling practice 🙏
I love your writing! X